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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648053">It May Be You/It Could Be Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicCarpet/pseuds/MagicCarpet'>MagicCarpet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Among Us (Video Game), Dungeons &amp; Dragons (Roleplaying Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aliens, Aliens and cyborgs who are trans and gay, Aromantic Character, Assume most of these gay losers are trans nonbinary or both, But there's lots of fluff anyway, Child Soldiers, Cyborgs, Electrical is a dangerous place, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Everyone is traumatized, Ghosts, Lime is sad and horny, Making Out, Multi, Murder Mystery, Nonbinary Character, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Protective Siblings, Queerplatonic Relationships, Red is just excited to autopsy people, Romance isn't neccessarily the focal point, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Suicide Discussed, The characters are pulled from the DnD campaign I DM, The ghosts are also trans, Time Loop, Trans Male Character, Two of these gay losers are impostors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:07:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicCarpet/pseuds/MagicCarpet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Yellow finds her partner's body, life on The Skeld turns upside down for every gay loser aboard.  </p><p>Blue is willing to throw anyone out of the airlock to keep his husbands and children safe, including himself.  Lime just wants to hide out in O2 and write angsty music.  Pink and Black would rather sneak off and hold hands than do anything useful.  Red is very excited to cut up corpses.  Yellow does her best to corral them all, process her grief, and step up as acting captain, but the two impostors pick them off one by one.</p><p>And then it happens again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Black/Pink (Among Us), Blue/Green (Among Us), Crewmate/Crewmate (Among Us), Crewmate/Impostor (Among Us), Cyan/Brown/Blue (Among Us), Red/Green (Among Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. White Dies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title is taken from some lyrics at the end of The Most Unwanted Song.  If you want to listen to twenty-two minutes of music designed to be terrible, look it up and give it a listen.  It won't make your day better, but it will make it different.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Vin found Captain Monk’s body in Comms at 14:02, just after the end of her afternoon break, and all the color leached from her world.  Drowning in the icy grey waters of a quiet panic attack, she leaned forward over the body and hit the intercom button with the tip of a trembling finger.</p><p>“Mandatory meeting at 14:07,” she said in a voice that didn’t sound like her own.  </p><p>Vin loved running Comms, setting her crewmates off to do the thousand little tasks it took to keep The Skeld drifting smoothly through space.  She loved the control, and more than that she loved the feeling it gave her when everything was accomplished ahead of schedule.  Electric.  Wired in.  </p><p>Today, the job felt like a curse.</p><p>***</p><p>In the cafeteria, Vin counted heads before saying hello, acknowledging salutes, or answering any of the confused questions directed her way.  Some part of her mind even more detached than the rest noted that she was definitely in shock.</p><p>“Where’s Clank?” she asked, forgetting to use their official designation.  There couldn’t be another dead, not so soon.</p><p>She wasn’t ready to think about the length of her afternoon break—forty-five minutes—and all that could be accomplished in that span.  </p><p>Howick, designation Pink, blushed a little.  “They visited me in Weapons at around 13:00.  Some kind of download, I think.”</p><p>“And how long were you together?”  Vin spoke a little more sharply than she meant to.</p><p>Pink slumped guiltily.  Right, Clank and Howick had been fumbling through a sweet little courtship for the past month.  Vin had told them off once before for letting personal matters distract them at work, but they were usually quite responsible.  As responsible as young people in love ever were.</p><p>“Not long,” Pink said.  “We did talk a minute while Black waited for the download to finish.  I kept an eye on my screen the whole time, and as soon as they left I cleared some debris we were coming up on.  It was less than two minutes.”</p><p>“I’m not here to lecture you,” said Vin, and paused.  She had no idea how to break the news to the crew, and she certainly wasn’t going to do it twice.  Where was Clank?  Surely two people hadn’t died on her watch—</p><p>And there they were, running in through the Storage entrance and throwing up a clumsy, left-handed salute.  Vin’s entire body relaxed.</p><p>“Black.  You’re late.  Report.”</p><p>Clank, designation Black, made something like eye contact with a place just to the left of her nose.  “Sorry, Yellow.  The damned reactor’s been acting up since it almost melted down two days ago.  Manifolds locked themselves up.”</p><p>Vin could only nod.  Clank might be rough around the edges, but they probably understood the ins and outs of The Skeld better than the original designers.  She was glad they were alive, not least because everyone else would have twice as many tasks to complete each day without their technician’s tireless maintenance.  More importantly, she didn’t want to fill out a death certificate for a practical child.  Clank was thirteen in Earth years, which meant, in Venusian Kenku tradition, that they had only just become an adult.  It was their first trip out as crew.</p><p>She realized everyone was staring at her.  Marcus and Dent, the rigid darlings, were still crisply saluting.  “At ease, Green and Blue,” Vin said.  “Thank you all for responding promptly.”  After a minute, so that Black and Pink wouldn’t worry she was upset with them, she added, “As promptly as your tasks allowed.”</p><p>Amongst the huddled crewmates, she made eye contact with her brother.  Bastion could definitely tell that something terrible had happened, even if the others couldn’t.  He frowned at Vin in a silent question.</p><p>“There’s no easy way for me to say this,” Vin continued.  “At 14:02 in Communications, I discovered the body of Captain Monk, designation White.”</p><p>She waited for the gasps to die down.</p><p>“That can’t be right,” blurted out Sorrel, designation Red, the ship’s medic.  “I had the captain in for a physical the week before the launch, same as all of you.  They were in perfect health for a human of their age!”</p><p>Vin took a breath to steady herself.  “I’ll want an autopsy, of course,” she said as levelly as she could, “but it looks to have been a murder.”</p><p>More gasps arose as even the most protocol-minded crewmates talked over each other.  Those with children drew them close.  Vin shut her eyes.</p><p>“That’s enough, everyone,” Marcus—Green—said roughly, clapping a large hand on Vin’s shoulder.  “Let’s all give Yellow some air.  Remember, White was her…”  He hesitated.</p><p>“Partner,” Vin managed.  She didn’t have it in her to explain the full weight of their decades-long queerplatonic relationship to a roomful of people she scarcely knew.  She wasn’t sure the full weight of anything had hit her yet.  Her entire body still felt like it had plunged into icy water the moment she discovered the empty, staring thing that was not her Monk anymore and never would be again.  Numb.</p><p>“Right,” Harvey, designated Cyan, said briskly, setting his son, Spade, in his husband’s lap.  “I’ll get you some water.  Or tea.  Cup of tea.”</p><p>Vin thought vaguely that she should order Cyan to take someone with him in case murderers were aprowl, but the thought never made it to the part of her brain that produced speech.  Green’s hand was still on her shoulder.  And it was nice to get the only remaining full human out of the room.  Everyone from the Luna colony shared a sort of resemblance to each other, and right now that made Cyan and Blue painful to look at.  Cyan’s eyes crinkled at the corners in the same way her Monk’s had, and while Blue—Dent—was probably seventy percent cybernetic, there was something about the way he held himself that made Vin’s heart feel raw.</p><p>“—has to be one of us,” her brother was saying when Vin tuned back into the conversation, shifting the brown-suited child on his head to his shoulder and squeezing the cyan-suited child in his lap.  “But before we can do anything else, we need to officially transfer the captainship to Yellow.  She <em> was </em> second-in-command after all.”</p><p>“Before we can do anything else, I am treating her for shock,” Red insisted.  “She needs rest, and fluids, and <em> calm </em>.  After I take care of my living patient, we can think about what happened to the dead one.”</p><p>“Which would be a wonderful idea if we didn’t know for a fact that there is still at least one murderer aboard!”  When Blue raised his voice, he tended to plow along without any room for argument.</p><p>When it came to medicine, Red could be as strident as Blue.  When he started to argue back just as loudly, Pink broke in.</p><p>“You’re both right.  Vin—okay, Yellow—needs time to get over her shock.  In the meantime, we’re still in danger and we need a leader.  Who was third-in-command?”</p><p>“Me, actually,” said Blue, looking startled by the notion that he might lead anything at all.  “Admin, you know.”</p><p>“Yes,” said Pink.  They raised their voice.  “Does anyone object to our third-in-command, Blue, running operations while Yellow recovers?”</p><p>No one did.</p><p>“Excellent,” said Red, nodding to Pink.  “Bastion, Dent, would you mind helping Vin down to MedBay?”</p><p>“With all due respect,” said Vin’s brother, “I’m not sure that’s the best idea.  I’m not accusing you of anything, Sorrel, but I don’t want to risk leaving my sister alone with anyone right now.”</p><p>Red considered.  “Why don’t you stay with us, Bastion?  Assuming that’s acceptable to you, Dent.”</p><p>Blue hesitated.  “I suppose.”</p><p>Vin’s vision blurred.  It might have been tears.  Someone put a drink in her hand.  Someone else took the drink away when she almost dropped it.  Strong hands under her arms bore her upright, and then she was in a soft bed that smelled faintly of bleach.  Someone put a straw to her lips, and she drank warm tea sweetened with too much honey.  Her entire body was cold.</p><p>“Lie back now,” said Red gently.</p><p>And, finally, there was nothing left to think about.</p><p>***</p><p>Naturally, Dent appointed himself to head the patrol.  He brought the Draconic fellow from security, Marcus, because he knew Marcus was good in a pinch.  And he brought Felix, the young lagabout who worked O2, if only to keep him out of trouble.</p><p>At 14:34, as he led the patrol through the weapons bay, Dent unzipped one of his pockets and rolled his prayer beads between his gloved fingers.  Had to account for everyone.  Had to keep things running.  Had to keep his children safe.  </p><p>He’d left Spade and Briarwood with Harvey, in the cafeteria.  They were safe there.  Dent refused to think about how easily human bodies could be induced to stop working properly.  Not when it concerned his husband and children.</p><p>
  <em> Focus.  Take stock.  Be exact. </em>
</p><p>Dent’s other husband, Bastion, was watching over Vin in MedBay.  With Sorrel, one of the unknowns.  </p><p>As of twenty minutes ago, anyone Dent had known for less than five years was suspect.  He rolled their names over and over in his mind as though suddenly one would jump out and declare themself murderous.</p><p>Sorrel, designation Red, was an Infernal from a planet called Soil in the Orion cluster.  Verified medical degree out of one of the Mira Alliance schools around Betelgeuse, making him authorized to practice medicine on every sentient Alliance species.  Dent had met him for the first time the week of launch, for his physical.  Sorrel was a little perplexed by some of Dent’s less common cybernetics, which was fine.  When it came to his inorganic parts, he could maintain himself.</p><p>An honest sort, Sorrel, Dent would have said before everyone but his family became a murder suspect.  Genuine.  More interested in sticking needles in people than anyone he’d usually care to spend time with, but everyone’s got something weird about them.  If there was a syringe sticking out of Captain Monk, though, Dent knew who he was hurling out of the airlock first thing.</p><p>He didn’t really know Clank, designation Black, well either.  No one knew Clank, a fresh academy graduate from the Venus branch.  And Dent certainly wasn’t going to assume the best of them just because they were from the same star system.  Sadistic types came from everywhere.</p><p>Howick, designation Pink, certainly seemed to think Clank was worth getting to know.  Since Dent was married to two of his crewmates, he could hardly judge others for dating their coworkers.  At any rate, Howick was a highly competent weapons expert, and Clank was the best ship’s technician Dent had ever worked with.  Which wouldn’t stop him from hurling them out of the airlock, either.  Not if they threatened his family.</p><p>That left Felix and Marcus, the other two members of Dent’s impromptu patrol.</p><p>Felix and Howick were from the same planet, Omicron J in the Andromeda cluster.  A.k.a. Dirt, in their language.  Most planets with sentient life were called something like ‘Mud’ in the local tongues.  The two of them didn’t seem to get on.  Howick had mentioned something about class differences to Bastion, but Basty hadn’t done a good job of explaining it to Harvey and Dent.  It was probably hard to understand that sort of nuance when you came from a place where the only social class was Irradiated Clone Forager.</p><p>Felix, designation Lime, was quiet, pouty, and sometimes forgot to do his work on time.  He always seemed to have time to scribble down song lyrics in the notebook he carried everywhere, though.  Daydreaming wasn’t a cardinal sin in the eyes of Dent’s goddess, but it certainly was in the eyes of Dent’s work ethic.  Felix was only a kid, but if he had to go, he would.</p><p>And Marcus.  Marcus was maddening, because Dent <em> liked </em> Marcus.  It wasn’t just that he had a thing for broad-shouldered, honest men who didn’t say much, though that could describe both of his husbands.  Marcus was fun to work with without being distracting, refreshingly straightforward, a font of interesting stories from his days in the military, and, above all else, kind.  Dent liked to believe that if it came to it, he would eject Marcus the same as he would any non-handsome, non-cuddly crewmate.  But there was no denying that it would be difficult for him.</p><p>The weapons bay was empty.  In O2, the filter hatch was open, abandoned in Felix’s earlier rush to the meeting.  Felix went a little red in the face as he closed it, not meeting Dent’s eyes.</p><p>“I’ll finish that task later,” he mumbled.</p><p>When Dent poked his head into Nav, he spotted a mug of long-forgotten tea on the floor next to Harvey’s chair.  He had to smile.  Harvey was so careful about his instruments, even if everything else in Harvey’s general orbit was pure chaos.  Like the weapons bay, the shields bay, Bastion’s domain, was spotless and empty.</p><p>The body in Comms was right where Vin had said it would be, halfway under the desk with the recording equipment.  Vin hadn’t mentioned that the murderer had cut Captain Monk in half.  It probably wasn’t anything Marcus hadn’t seen, and Dent had seen much worse when he was younger on trips down to Earth from the Luna colony, back home in the Sol system.  As one, he and Marcus moved to try to block young Felix’s view of all the fluids spilling out of the disemboweled corpse.  There was nothing to do about the smell.</p><p>“This was unnecessarily violent,” Marcus murmured, a sentiment Dent could only agree with.  There were plenty of ways to kill someone you wanted dead without leaving a great horrible mess for someone else, particularly if the someone you wanted dead was an unaugmented human.</p><p>In the hallway behind them, Felix threw up.  That made two horrible messes for Dent to deal with.</p><p>***</p><p>It was some time around three in the afternoon before Felix ran out of previous meals to hack up.  Curled up in the fetal position on a MedBay cot next to the still-shellshocked new captain, Yellow or whatsherface, Felix stared grimly down into his basinful of vomit and wondered how his day could possibly get any worse.  He couldn’t hear everything that was going on in the cafeteria turned war room, but from what he could tell it sounded as though this was about to change from a light and loose backwater gig captained by a chill kinda person who respected artists into some kind of military thing.</p><p>He wished these ancient rigs came with one-man escape capsules like the newer models did.  Even stuffy old Dirt would be better than here.  At this rate, all kinds of horrible things were bound to happen to Felix.  He could end up with a crew cut if he wasn’t careful!</p><p>On the next cot over, Yellow Whatsherface stirred, whimpering a little.</p><p>“I’m here, Twenty,” whispered Brown Guy, stroking her neck at the place where a bundle of tubes and wires protruded from her skin before disappearing again under the collar of her suit.</p><p>Felix winced.  On Dirt, no self-respecting augmented person would go out in polite society without silicon skin, colored as closely as they could afford to their natural tone, covering any places where metal met flesh.  But both of the clones wore their augmentations proudly.  Felix had thought it was a little uncanny valley the first time he met an augmented human clone from Earth proper, but he’d long since gotten over that silly prejudice.  Mostly.</p><p>Yellow Whatsherface and Brown Guy were obviously cloned from the same line.  They were completely identical, allowing for variations caused by scars and blemishes, personal style, and the fact that one of them was trans.  And okay, it was a bit weird that they used their serial numbers or whatever as pet names.  But Felix didn’t judge people for petty stuff.</p><p>Yellow Whatsherface’s eyes fluttered open.  “Sixteen.”</p><p>“I’m here,” Brown Guy repeated.  “It’s all okay now.”</p><p>Somehow, in spite of the wire stroking, Felix felt comforted too.</p><p>Sorrel bustled over and replaced Felix’s full basin of vomit with one that was clean and empty.  He smiled at Felix.  “Doing better?”</p><p>Felix knew Sorrel better than most of the randos on the crew.  He was fun to drink with, but too straight and narrow to get into interesting trouble with afterward.  Cute, but Felix had coasted onto The Skeld on a wave of failed relationships.  Cute broke your heart.  Cute never paid enough attention.</p><p>“I’m well enough,” he said, hoping Sorrel might fuss over him a bit more.  He was definitely sick enough to stay in bed the rest of the day.  Let the others play soldier or whatever if they wanted.</p><p>“Good!” said Sorrel, taking him at face value.  This was Felix’s least favorite thing about Sorrel.  “In that case, would you mind inspecting these samples for me?  I’m not sure I’ll have time, what with trying to prep everything for the autopsy.”</p><p>Sorrel said the word ‘autopsy’ like a child on Dirt might say ‘Candlenights.’  And his wasn’t a face you said no to.</p><p>“Of course,” said Felix miserably, taking the rack of vials Sorrel handed him.  “How do I…”</p><p>Sorrel had already flitted off to his examination table.  “There’s a dropperful of reagent on the desk next to the scanner.  Put two drops in each vial and wait, then note down which ones, if any, turn red.  Those’ll be my anomalies.  The reaction should only take a minute.”</p><p>“Right.”  There was no getting out of it, so Felix did as he was told.  At least it was a <em> new </em> monotonous task.  He was so sick of emptying garbage, pulling leaves out of filters, and swiping his ID card every which way trying to get the scanner to read.</p><p>Just as Felix finished the task and turned to leave, Sorrel called him back.  “I’ll page the cafeteria.  Dent’s set up a buddy system.  Acting captain while Vin recovers from her shock, you know.”</p><p>“Great,” said Felix, saccharine sweet, as his worst nightmare came to pass.  What kind of rulesy loser was he about to get stuck with?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Yellow Dies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Howick, designation Pink, uses any pronouns, but they and she are their favorites.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>On the whole, Howick had had better days.  Take yesterday, for example.  She and Clank had matching break periods for once, so they looked up snacks from their respective home planets that wouldn’t poison each other, printed them at a cafeteria table, and spent a leisurely half hour cuddling and playing each other music.  Howick’s music taste leaned more retrosoft than Clank’s death metal fixation, but when she listened to their music, it was like she could almost reach into something real at the heart of them.  It made her feel like Clank was the kind of person she could someday know as well as her favorite songs, always anticipating the next refrain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the curse of demisexuality.  Howick didn’t often get crushes, but when she did it only took one smile for her to follow them anywhere.  It was nearly impossible to focus on blowing up asteroids when you were in love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some days, you got to go on your dream space date with an amazing space person.  Some days, you got saddled with a task partner who wanted to do anything but your assigned tasks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Never mind that the whole reason they were paired together was that </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>had cut White in half while they were working alone in Comms.  On the way to Shields from the cafeteria, Felix, designation Lime, dawdled behind Howick, staring at his tablet.  Howick slowed from a jog to a trot to a brisk walk to a trudge, but the guy couldn’t take a hint.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You ever worked Shields on a Skeld model before?” Howick asked, on the basis that trudging along making small talk was slightly less boring than trudging along in silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.”  He didn’t even look up.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick forged ahead desperately.  Why had she taken the long way around?  “Me either.  It’s my first time out on an actual Skeld, though.  I think Mira’s retired most of ‘em.  Even the academy I went to in the Rigel System had newer weapons tech for us to practice with, and I’m talking deep backwater Rigel, too.  I had to learn a whole out-of-date interface from scratch!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Felix didn’t even bother responding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick tried another question.  “So...what got you interested in O2 tech?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Felix answered this one with a shrug, still looking at his tablet.  “Guy I liked was from a planet like Black’s, without much oxygen in the atmosphere.  I wondered if it was possible to artificially create an environment where it would be safe for both of us to kiss without respirators.”  He looked up, smiling a little.  “Then I hyperfixated on that for four months.  By the time I figured out the right nitrogen balance, I’d missed so many of his messages that he gave up and said an engagement with someone else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The one that got away.  That sucks,” said Howick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lots of ones have gotten away from me,” Felix replied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Back to the tablet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mercifully, they passed Navigation a few moments later.  Howick didn’t want another lecture from Yellow, but after putting up with Felix and the silence for </span>
  <em>
    <span>minutes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she felt like she kind of deserved a breather.  The shields would still be there waiting to be primed in another minute or so, and she had cleared their path of asteroids just a while ago.  Besides, she needed to let Felix catch up with her.  Despite her best efforts, he was falling behind again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stuck her head into Nav.  “Hey!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as Howick had hoped, Harvey, designation Cyan, was charting their course in his pilot’s seat.  Clank, who Dent had assigned as Harvey’s task partner at the emergency meeting earlier, hovered awkwardly nearby.  Clank knew every screw, gear, and wire of The Skeld in an intimate sort of way that bordered on instinct, but in other people’s workspaces they always seemed to make themself small and out of the way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick put her hand on Clank’s shoulder.  “Hey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clank looked at Howick in the way that they always looked at Howick.  “Howick,” they said, and Howick wanted to fill herself up forever with the warmth in their eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had decided that she wanted to kiss Clank exactly three minutes into their first real conversation a few weeks ago, record fast for one of her crushes.  They held hands, cuddled, and often touched each other in passing in ways that sent tingles shooting up Howick’s arm and into her heart, but she still wasn’t sure if Clank had decided whether they wanted to kiss her or not.  She wasn’t quite courageous enough to ask, yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’re you two working on?  We have Shields on top of our regular tasks.”  Howick glanced behind her.  Still no dawdling Felix.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clank frowned over at Harvey.  “I dunno much about Nav,” they admitted.  “But after this I have to go and sweet talk the reactor a little more.  I’m worried ze’ll throw another fit if any of the systems ze’s connected to go down, and that could be disastrous if we’re all on the other side of the ship fixing O2.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick nodded.  “Tell zem I said hi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Felix wandered past, headed toward Shields.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s my cue,” said Howick.  “Bye.  See ya, Harvey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m listening,” said Harvey, registering Howick for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Felix trudged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick didn’t want to leave Felix alone, but she was drowning in the slow silence.  She risked speeding up a little.  “Almost there!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to learn more about our shielding tech, can you?  I feel like people thought it made sense to assign us to cover Brown’s duties while he sits with Yellow because our departments are both so close to the Shields bay, but weapons are so different.”  Howick was babbling ridiculously, but the alternative felt worse somehow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When red lights flashed overhead just as Howick reached the Shields bay, she was practically relieved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Felix was suddenly animate.  “That’s O2 failing.  You make for Admin.”  He sprinted off in the direction of O2.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick wasn’t about to argue with the expert.  She took off running, past Comms and through Storage.  The alarms died down just as she got to Admin.  Blue, Brown, and Red had all beat her to it.  Clank trotted up behind Howick, vibrating their throat membranes exhaustedly from all the running.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Re-reactor,” they gasped, taking off again across the cafeteria towards the engines.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blue and Brown looked at Howick questioningly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They think the reactor might melt down since O2 just failed,” Howick explained.  “They were just telling me about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blue nodded.  “Go after them, Pink.  They shouldn’t risk working alone.  I’ll send Lime up to Nav with Cyan while you’re gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick rocketed off through the cafeteria after Clank and almost faceplanted tripping over the body outside MedBay.  She got to her feet and had to stare at it for a moment before all of the implications processed properly.  She felt both remarkably serene and so dizzy she might topple over at any second.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily, the nearest emergency button was set into the wall next to her.  She could just lean on it and wait for someone less wobbly to tell her what to do.  Howick hesitated.  Unless the person who came to tell her what to do saw her next to a corpse and went for the obvious explanation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surely no one would believe that she would kill someone and just immediately report it.  Right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick leaned on the button more because it felt like her brain was floating in vinegar than because she thought it was the smartest thing to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every second the crew spent arguing was a second Sorrel didn’t get to spend autopsying the new body, but nobody but him seemed to have their priorities aligned enough to figure that out.  Sorrel had tried suggesting that they adjourn and wait for the autopsy results, but that just led to a tearful Bastion accusing </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> of being the murderer.  So he was staying out of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sorrel had never gotten to dissect an augmented human before.  He’d heard that there were thousands of ways clone augmentations were configured on Earth.  No central scientific authority, what with it being an irradiated wasteland.  He had already learned so many interesting things from his dissection of Captain Monk earlier.  His fingers itched to get started.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it was already 18:00, and the meeting showed no signs that it would be wrapping up anytime soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ask me anything,” Howick insisted to Bastion for what had to be the dozenth time.  “By the time I got there, she was already dead.  We were all in Admin or O2.  Anyone could have done it in the commotion on the way over.  Lime can tell you that I was with him in Shields before O2 started going down, and you, Blue, and Red all saw me outside Admin.  Then Blue sent me to the reactor after Clank himself.  That’s when I found her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bastion’s jaw clenched, and he closed his eyes for a moment.  Next to him, Harvey sobbed on Dent’s shoulder, clutching the children in his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It could have been anyone,” Sorrel said to the room at large.  Staying out of things was all well and good, but the longer he waited to conduct his autopsy, the less it would be able to tell him about Vin’s final moments.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t you start again, you heartless monster,” Bastion snapped.  “Ought to throw you out the airlock here and now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe we should all be asking why Brown is so eager for one of us to suffocate and die in the cold vacuum of space,” said Howick, sounding a little bit hysterical.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bastion loomed over Howick.  “Because someone strangled my fucking sister!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Bastion</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  Harvey put a hand on his husband’s shoulder.  “You have a right to your anger.  But try to save it for the actual murderer, when we find out who they are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bastion leaned down to wipe the tears from Harvey’s cheeks.  “Harvey, I am frightened,” he admitted.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So am I,” said Harvey.  “Come sit with me and the kids for a sec.  Take some deep breaths.  I think Dent has an idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bastion finally left Howick alone, which Clank seemed to take as their cue to go to her.  Sorrel was relieved that someone was taking care of Howick.  He was an excellent internist, but therapy had never been his forte.  Although a patient dying on his watch didn’t exactly make him feel like the best doctor ever.  He had just left Vin in MedBay alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dent cleared his throat.  “Ah, as Captain—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“—</span>
  <em>
    <span>acting</span>
  </em>
  <span> Captain,” Bastion interjected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>—acting</span>
  </em>
  <span> Captain, I took the liberty of reviewing some of the personnel records.  With Green”s help, I discovered that we’ve had a data breach.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought we were investigating a murder.”  Bastion didn’t have to get to his feet to dominate the room.  With the exception of Harvey and Dent, no one, especially Howick, seemed to want to look at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Brown, stand down,” said Dent.  “I love you, but I will not hesitate to write you up for insubordination if this continues.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You could have cut the tension in the cafeteria with one of the floppy plastic spoons the ancient 3D printer spat out when you ordered pudding.  Marcus stared at his feet, letting out a low whistle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To continue,” said Dent, “Green and I noticed some anomalies in the metadata associated with the records.  We did some more digging through past edits, and we found that two months before the mission, someone logged in with Captain Monk’s credentials from an unknown location, attempted several operations, then did something that corrupted all the files.  The files repopulated out of nothing three days later.  We suspect a second, more sophisticated operative came back to cover the first operative’s tracks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does that mean?” Bastion asked.  He looked more confused than angry now, which made Sorrel feel much safer sitting next to the airlock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marcus spoke for the first time.  “It means that there could be two impostors among us.  We don’t have any way to know what they were trying to hide.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Two murderers?” Felix’s eyes went so wide that he looked like a swamp hooter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t know anything for sure.”  Dent was probably trying to reassure Felix, but it only seemed to remind the rest of the crew of just how much they didn’t know.  “We do have a suspect.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who?”  Bastion tensed, like he was ready to throw the suspect out of the airlock as soon as Dent said their name.  He probably was.  Harvey kept his hand on his arm, which seemed to ground Bastion a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The second hacker would have had to know a lot about Mira’s computer systems,” Dent began slowly.  He was clearly choosing his words with great care.  “And our technician was late to the first emergency meeting after Captain Monk’s body was discovered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No!” Howick blurted out, but Dent continued.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pink, didn’t you say that you only found Yellow’s body because you were following Black?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”  Howick clenched their fists.  “But that wasn’t—I wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>accusing</span>
  </em>
  <span> Clank!  It can’t have been them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And would you gamble on that with your life?” Dent asked.  “None of us knew Black before this mission.  One of the first things you learn out here is that perfectly well-adjusted people don’t sign up to spend half their lives in space.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Next to Howick, Clank stared at their boots.  They looked lost, like a puppet with the wires disconnected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That isn’t enough evidence!”  Beneath their helmet, Howick’s face flushed silver.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll put it to a vote,” said Dent.  “I’ll let you all think it over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dent, we can’t just kill a child,” Harvey protested.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the same time, Howick said, “If Clank was really a murderer, why haven’t they killed me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not killer,” Clank signed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at them!” Howick shrieked.  “They’re so scared they’ve gone nonverbal!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dent unlocked his tablet.  “I’ve sent you all a poll.  Vote when you’re ready.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t do this,” Howick insisted again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sorrel opened the poll on his own tablet.  Dent, Bastion, and Howick had voted already.  Those votes were obvious.  Harvey would vote ‘no’ as well—yep, there he went—and surely Clank wouldn’t vote ‘yes’ to throw </span>
  <em>
    <span>themself </span>
  </em>
  <span>out of the airlock.  Which left Felix and Marcus as unknowns.  Not to mention Sorrel himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Dent was right, Clank had strangled Vin, one of Sorrel’s patients, and left her body in the hallway for Howick to find.  Sorrel wondered at that a little.  Clank was a skinny little thing, and Vin had been tall and muscular.  Even in her dazed, weakened state, Sorrel would never expect Clank to be able to hurt Vin.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But if he voted wrong, all of his other patients could be trapped on The Skeld with a murderer.  Two murderers?  Now that two of his patients were dead, Sorrel was very certain that he didn’t want to be responsible for shoving a child out of an airlock.  He voted ‘no.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only one crewmate had yet to cast their vote.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have to vote, Clank,” said Howick.  Ze pulled Clank’s tablet out of their bag.  “Here, unlock it and go to your messages.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clank shook their head.  “Abstaining,” they signed.  Then, with seeming difficulty, they added, “Sorry, Howick.  I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the timer ran out on the poll, there were four votes ‘yes’ and three votes ‘no.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took both Bastion and Marcus to hold Howick back while Dent readied the airlock.  Clank stepped in of their own accord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Most of the crew looked away when they drifted past the cafeteria window, but Sorrel saw Clank give a sad little wave.  Then they were gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Howick had stopped fighting by the time Bastion and Marcus let him go, but he was still screaming.  It was mostly nonsense.  Sorrel approached the group with his hands up.  “Can I take her to MedBay?  Please?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was something strange and heavy in Marcus’ expression.  “That’s a good idea.  When they’re doing better, page me.  I’d like to talk to them about what happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” said Sorrel.  “Howick?  Can I touch you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They had never known the Skeld to be so quiet before.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Death dulled everything.  Clank’s whole body felt as numb as their tongue got the time they tried potato chips, a snack Yellow and Brown liked from Earth.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Even though they were right beside Howick, she felt so far away.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry, kid,” said a voice.  </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Clank turned.  Yellow and White floated beside them.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“That was hard to watch,” White continued.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You didn’t deserve that,” Yellow added.  “Gods, you’re small.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Howick is scared,” Clank said.  Their voice sounded wrong.  “Who hurt you?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Neither of us remember,” said White.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>In MedBay, Red was trying to get Howick to drink something.  It was strange, watching someone scream without being able to hear their voice.  Clank just wanted to hold him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was a long time before they were able to think of anything else.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“My Skeld.  The reactor needs to restart.  And I’m worried about some of the wiring—“</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ve been trying to help them, where we can,” Yellow said.  “If we concentrate, we can do a few tasks.  Couldn’t get the keypad to work when O2 went.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Clank tried to breathe a sigh of relief, then realized they didn’t really have lungs any longer.  They looked back at Howick.  Red had persuaded zem to drink, and whatever it was had put zem to sleep.  “Can we touch people?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” said White, drifting through Howick and her cot.  Clank flinched.  “Can’t talk to them either.  I’d have told them to throw Lime off, not you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Lime?” Clank didn’t know Lime well, but they couldn’t quite reconcile their image of a murderer with their sulky, withdrawn crewmate.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>White shrugged.  “Best theory I’ve got.  He’s certainly not a team player, messing around on his tablet all the time.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Clank knew about this.  “Lime writes music.  He has an application that—”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shouldn’t be doing that in the middle of the day.”  White folded their arms.  “No wonder O2 almost went down.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You don’t mean that,” said Yellow.  Her hand passed through White’s cheek.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Might as well.  Can’t do anything for it anymore.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Clank watched Howick’s chest rise and fall as she slept.  They needed to see to the reactor, and soon.  But they weren’t quite ready to tear themself away.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As far as Clank, designation Black, is concerned, the reactor is a ze.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Brown Dies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Dent pushed Clank into the airlock, Bastion couldn’t hold on to Howick anymore.  And when Dent left the cafeteria, Bastion followed.  He had tasks to do.  But he couldn’t remember what they were.</p><p>He followed Dent into Admin.  Dent swiped his ID, then logged into his computer.  Suddenly, Bastion was crying again.  He couldn’t stand.</p><p>Dent caught little Briarwood as Bastion slumped over against the table.  He’d been crying in jags for so long that his eyes and nose were raw.</p><p>“I’m here, Basty,” Dent murmured, kissing Bastion behind his ear.</p><p>Bastion closed his eyes. Clank’s death played on his eyelids like a horrible silent film from Old Earth.  It didn’t really matter if the kid had done it.  They were murderers too, now.  It was all well and good that the other impostor was going to pick them off one by one.</p><p>“They won’t.  I won’t let them hurt you,” Dent said, and Bastion realized that he had said all of this aloud.</p><p>“Dent, they were a child,” Bastion croaked out.  “We killed a child.”</p><p>Dent stroked Bastion’s back in gentle circles.  “I killed them.  I’m the captain.  It’s my job to take responsibility.  You didn’t do anything.”</p><p>“We all voted,” Bastion protested.  “Except Clank.  Didn’t even defend themself.  I should have known, I should have realized—”</p><p>“You should have,” said a new voice.  Harvey sat down on Bastion’s other side and glared at them both.  “I almost can’t blame Bastion.  Of course he was being irrational—it was his <em> sister </em>.  But you only threw fuel on the fire, Dent.  A captain’s meant to protect their crew.”</p><p>“A captain’s not meant to harbor murderers,” Dent said gruffly.  “I’m not going to see you hurt, Harvey.  You’re too trusting.”</p><p>“<em> I’m too trusting? </em> ” Harvey screamed.  He always cried when he was angry.  “At least pretend you’re sorry that Howick had to watch Clank <em> die </em>.”</p><p>“Of course I’m sorry.”  Debt wrapped his arm around Bastion’s shoulders.  He was the only person Bastion knew who was large enough to make him feel small.  After everything, it was still comforting.  “What was I supposed to do?  Let Clank run around cutting people in half?  Maybe bend down and bare my neck to make it easier for them?”</p><p>“You were <em> supposed </em>to be fair,” Harvey spat.  He was shaking.  “We could have turned Communications into a brig, or—”</p><p>“As if our technician couldn’t have hacked their way out of any room on the ship.”  Dent pressed his lips into a fine line.  “I’m sorry I had to kill Clank.  But it was the right thing to do.”</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll march right along to Weapons and tell that to Howick.  She’ll be so comforted to know that you thought it was <em> the right thing to do </em>.  Come on, Spade.”  Harvey picked up Briarwood and stormed out of the room.</p><p>It seemed to Bastion that his heart was about to shatter into pieces.  He wanted to cling to Dent.  He wanted to chase after Harvey.  How had his entire family fallen apart so fast?</p><p>“Maybe The Skeld is cursed,” he said under his breath.</p><p>Dent held him tighter.  “We’re going to be okay.  I’ll make sure of it.”</p><p>Bastion wasn’t sure of anything.</p><p>“Stay safe,” he said to Dent at last.  He needed to be alone.  There was a quiet corner in Shields where no one would see him cry.</p><p>***</p><p>When Harvey was calm enough to stop angry crying, he set Spade and Briarwood up with some blocks under his desk in Navigation and bent over his charts and sensors.  He kept getting a strange ion reading from the asteroid field up ahead, but it was probably a computer error.  Harvey had never seen numbers like that from his instruments before.  Navigating around the field would add a good three days to their trip, so that was a no-go.  Not worth straining the food printer over an error.</p><p>What was he going to do once the mission was over?  Harvey had never bought into the stereotype that augmented people lost a little more empathy with each new replacement.  Still didn’t.  But after seeing what his husbands had done in the cafeteria, he wasn’t sure he could stay with them.  Did he want Spade and Briarwood to be raised by fathers willing to murder children?</p><p>Harvey manually checked all his calculations three times just to have something else to think about.  Then, around 19:00, he couldn’t wait anymore.  He went to see Howick.  </p><p>It was past the end of Howick’s shift, but Harvey wasn’t surprised to find her still at work.  How could you sleep after watching your lover die?  How could you share a room with the people who had killed them?</p><p>Howick had been throwing up.  One of the buckets from Storage was next to her work station.  Howick leaned over it, helmet off.  Her silvery skin had a bluish hue to it that looked unhealthy.  She smiled at Harvey without any warmth or happiness.  “Hey.”</p><p>Harvey almost started crying again.  Howick was young, too.  “Hey,” he said, holding it in.</p><p>Howick threw up again.  After a long time had passed, she said, “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“No,” said Harvey.  “<em> I’m </em> sorry.  I should have said more.  Done more.  Clank was innocent.”</p><p>“They were.”  Howick’s voice cracked.</p><p>“Do you want a hug?” Harvey asked.</p><p>She hesitated, then nodded slowly.</p><p>“Come here,” said Harvey, and held her tight.  “I’m sorry,” he said again.  “I’m going to keep you safe now, understand?”</p><p>Howick started crying then.  “Okay.  Yeah.  I understand.”</p><p>Harvey just barely managed to keep it together.  “I’ll keep you safe.”</p><p>***</p><p>When none of his crewmates were around to hear, Felix sung to his plants.  It helped them grow better, he was sure.  Sometimes he snuck his guitar up from his bunk and played for them.</p><p>Today was a guitar kind of day, especially after that disaster earlier.  Besides, Felix needed to stop thinking.  He was pretty sure that wanting someone to die and <em> making </em> them die made you a bad person.  He couldn’t get Clank’s face out of his head.</p><p>The plants perked up for his rendition of “I Left My Legs In A Bottle of Booze,” a classic he’d learned from a human classmate at the academy.  Alcohol was toxic to Felix’s species, but he related to human drinking songs on a spiritual level.</p><p>“If you liked that, you’ll love this next one,” Felix told the smoop vines.  He was concerned that they weren’t getting enough attention.  Smoop vines were notorious for dying the moment they felt the least bit neglected.  He strummed the opening chords of “Long Tentacled Lady,” but then he remembered something.  Worse, it was a work thing.  Felix hated remembering his responsibilities, because then he had to actually go and do things away from his plants and his guitar.  But he was certain that Howick wasn’t in a state to remember that they were supposed to prime the shields.  And someone had to.</p><p>“Fuck,” said Felix, mostly for the plants’ benefit.  “I’ll be right back, dears.”</p><p>At least priming the shields only took like thirty seconds.  Felix hurried for once, anxious to get back to O2.  Where was the console?  Oh, in the little nook—</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Felix’s second disemboweled corpse was easier to look at than his first.  He was only a little nauseous, and he could keep it down.  Even so, it took him a while to remember that he should report it, and longer still to look for the nearest emergency button.</p><p>Footsteps.  “Basty?  You were right.  Harvey was right.  Wanted to say I’m sorr—<em> gods </em>.”</p><p>Felix froze.</p><p>Blue Captain Dude looked from Brown Guy’s corpse to Felix and back again.</p><p>“I c-came to prime the shields,” Felix managed.  “H-he was already like this.”</p><p>Blue Captain Dude seized his collar.</p><p>“No, please!”  And everything went red.</p><p>***</p><p>“I’d like to formally resign as captain,” Dent said at the beginning of the meeting.</p><p>Everyone stared at him.</p><p>Eventually, Marcus broke the silence.  He hated having to do this.  He <em> liked </em> Dent, despite everything.  “We’re more than a little past that, Blue,” he said.  </p><p>It was strange, having a meeting in such an empty cafeteria.  Cyan, it turned out, was a fainter, so he wasn’t there.  That left Marcus, Red, and Pink to decide Dent’s fate.</p><p>“Can’t judge my own trial,” Dent said simply.</p><p>“What makes a man kill his own husband?” Marcus asked.  “Money?”</p><p>Dent stood up.  He towered over everyone there, which said a lot.  People from Soil, like Marcus and Sorrel, designation Red, tended to be tall.  “Nothing would ever make me hurt my family,” he rumbled.  “I told you.  Lime killed Bastion, and I caught him.”</p><p>Red backed up a few steps until he was a little behind Marcus.</p><p>Tiny Pink marched right up to Dent and poked him in the chest with one finger.  “So killing Clank wasn’t enough for you?  Felix never did anything to anyone!”</p><p>“Stand down, both of you,” said Marcus, but he tried to say it gently for Pink’s sake.  “I don’t suppose there’s any point in prolonging the discussion.  Shall we vote?”</p><p>With the exception of Dent, it was unanimous.</p><p>***</p><p>At 20:08, Marcus found Pink in the reactor room.  He had no idea what to say to zem, but something had to be better than nothing.  “Everyone who got Black killed is gone now.”</p><p>Pink didn’t look at him.  “You voted for them, too.  I don’t forget that.”</p><p>Marcus had almost forgotten that, himself.  It already felt so long ago.  He hesitated.  “Is that a threat?”</p><p>Pink hesitated too, like ze wasn’t sure of the answer.  “Of course not,” ze said at last, still watching the reactor.  In its blue glow, ze looked tired and sickly.  “What would be the point?”</p><p>There was a long silence.</p><p>“You should sleep,” said Marcus.</p><p>“Can’t.  Don’t want the dreams.”</p><p>Marcus knew exactly what ze meant.  It was the same reason he was still up, even though his shift was over and he started a new one at 02:00.  “Want me to sit with you?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>He stood up, but Pink wasn’t done.  “But—”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“I keep looking at this reactor.  Clank was trying to fix it.  Something was wrong, they said.  We were in danger.  And they didn’t make it there, before—you know.  But the reactor’s <em> fine </em>.”</p><p>“Maybe they made a mistake.”  Marcus hadn’t known Black very well.  He didn’t know anyone on The Skeld well, except Dent, sort of.  But even he knew that Black wasn’t the type to make mistakes when it came to their ship.</p><p>“Clank was sure something was wrong,” Pink said.  “I don’t know.  Is it ridiculous that I hope they’re, like, watching over us or something?”</p><p>“No,” Marcus said.  “Though I hope there’s nothing after death.  I don’t think I want to exist forever.”</p><p>“After all this?”  Pink shook their head.  “I almost agree with you.”</p><p>“It’ll be over soon, anyway,” said Marcus.</p><p>Marcus and Pink watched the reactor together for a long time.  But if it had secrets, it was keeping them.</p><p>***</p><p>When Harvey woke up, he could somehow tell that Dent was gone.  The air felt different.  He headed for MedBay.  He needed to talk to someone who wasn’t a military blockhead or a child, and that left Sorrel.</p><p>Sorrel’s body was on top of the mediscanner.  This one was clean, like Vin’s body had been.  Strangled.</p><p>“Fuck,” said Harvey.  He was glad he’d left the children to sleep.  They’d seen enough death.  He hoped the emergency siren wouldn’t wake them.  Then he felt silly for thinking about such trivial things when Sorrel’s body wasn’t even cold.  He reported the body, but didn’t bother running to the cafeteria.  Marcus and Howick could wait for him.</p><p>***</p><p>“We put Cyan out the airlock, and it’s over,” Marcus said to Howick.  “You know that, Pink.”</p><p>Harvey could only watch as his crewmates argued.  Marcus had tied up and gagged him as soon as he got to the cafeteria, which really made him suspicious of Marcus’ motives.</p><p>Dent’s earlier words to him echoed in Harvey’s head.  “<em> You’re too trusting. </em>”  </p><p>It came down to Howick.</p><p>“Carry him over here,” said Marcus.  “I’ll get the lock ready and we can be done with this.”</p><p>Howick picked Harvey up with surprising ease and set him next to the airlock.  He guessed it made sense for a weapons expert to be strong, but he had no idea where she kept all of that muscle.</p><p>The airlock made a little <em> bip </em>.  It was ready.  The hatch in the cafeteria wall opened.</p><p>“This is for Clank,” said Howick.  She gave Marcus a shove.</p><p>The hatch in the cafeteria wall closed.</p><p>The hatch in the outer wall opened.</p><p>The hatch in the outer wall closed.</p><p>Howick pulled the gag out of Harvey’s mouth.  They stared at each other.</p><p>“Did you just—” Harvey managed.</p><p>“Yes,” said Howick, with great difficulty.  “And I’m not puking for once, which means I’ve finally become desensitized to death or lost my mind completely.”</p><p>“We’ll need a lot of therapy,” said Harvey.  He felt like laughing.  Or crying.  Or both.  And it occurred to him that he still didn’t know for sure that Howick wasn’t an impostor.  “Um.  Could you untie me, please?”</p><p>“Oh.  Right.”  Howick did.</p><p>It was only then that Harvey remembered.  “Fuck!  The asteroid field!”</p><p>They sprinted for their stations, Harvey to steer around the asteroids and Howick to blow up any that got too close.  But as they reached the weapons bay, the ship quaked, throwing them both to their knees.</p><p>And the world exploded.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here's where the fun really begins.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. White Dies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>13:57—Month 5, Day 17, Year of the Falling Stars—The Skeld—Mira Space—Sector P3907</span>
</p><p>
  <strong>Loop #2</strong>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harvey opened his eyes, he just assumed he was dead.  The Great Thereafter looked a lot like The Skeld, but he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> liked being a pilot.  It made sense.  He looked under his console.  Oh, Spade was dead too.  He picked him up.  Then he frowned at his instruments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The stars were wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Backwards,” he said aloud.  The Skeld was facing the right direction, and it didn’t even have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>capacity</span>
  </em>
  <span> to fly in reverse.  None of the old models did.  So how—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The intercom crackled.  The Great Thereafter was loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mandatory meeting at 14:07,” said the speaker above Harvey’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the hallway outside Nav, Harvey ran into Felix and grabbed his arm.  “Are we dead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix pulled away.  “No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”  Harvey frowned.  His head ached like it had when he had first tried to understand calculus.  “Is Bastion dead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which one is Bastion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Brown.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Under his helmet, Felix’s nose wrinkled.  “I don’t think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t kill him, okay?”  Harvey felt himself start to cry.  “I love him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix started to walk back the way he had come, towards O2 and the weapons bay.  “I’m going to the meeting.  You should too, probably.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The meeting?  Right, the intercom.  Harvey chased after Felix.  “Felix.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix swung around, looking a little afraid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Captain Monk dead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!  No one is dead!  Maybe you shouldn’t go to the meeting, Cyan.  Lie down or something.  You’re being weird.”  Felix marched off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not being weird,” Harvey muttered to himself.  His brain still felt like he was trying to solve an equation using a method from a planet where they hadn’t invented logic yet.  He went to the meeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you are,” said Vin, who looked terrible.  “Have you seen Clank or Howick?  Black and Pink,” she corrected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pushed Clank out the airlock,” Harvey said.  “My fault.”  He noticed that both of his husbands were there, alive and well and staring at him.  He cried harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, I told you,” Felix said.  “He’s being weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vin sat down.  “At ease, Green and Blue,” she said.  “Um, can someone—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through his tears, Harvey saw her gesture towards him.  He vaguely realized that he had fallen to his knees.  And Bastion was there, strong arms around him, picking him up the way he only did when Harvey was very sick or very upset.  He set Harvey on a chair, but kept an arm around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were dead,” Harvey said to Bastion, who looked nearly as alarmed as Felix had.  Harvey scanned the room.  “You were all dead.  I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry.”  He couldn’t stop crying, or apologizing to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pink, you’re late.  Report,” said Vin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey buried his face in Bastion’s chest and breathed in his smell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stiffened slightly when he registered Howick’s voice.  “—and I thought I had better make sure all of the asteroids were clear before I came to the meeting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” said Vin.  “Have you spent any time with Clank today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Howick’s strange expression gave Harvey his first real idea about what had happened.  “Yes,” she said after a strangely long pause.  “They visited me earlier.  In Weapons.  Because I work in Weapons.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do work in Weapons,” said Vin.  “And how long were you together?”  She spoke much more sharply than Harvey expected from her.  But if he was right, it made perfect sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two minutes?  I can’t remember, Yellow.  I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not here to lecture you.”  Vin’s emotions bled into her face.  Harvey was certain of it now.  She was grieving.  And that meant—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clank ran in through the Storage entrance and gave Vin one of their clumsy salutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it better or worse that everyone was late to this meeting?” Felix asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s always worse to be late,” Dent told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shut up,” Harvey said to Dent.  “I’m so glad you’re alive.  You shut up and leave Felix alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dent’s brow wrinkled.  He looked at Bastion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” said Harvey.  He didn’t suspect it was convincing, mostly because he was still crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He kept asking me if people were dead,” Felix said.  “That’s why I was late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about if I take you off to MedBay for a nice cup of tea and anxiety medicine after this?” Sorrel asked Harvey in his ‘friendly doctor’ voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That seems wise,” said Dent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Yellow,” Clank was saying.  “The damned reactor’s been acting up since it almost melted down two days ago.  Manifolds locked themselves up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vin nodded to Clank and said, to the room at large, “Thank you all for responding promptly.  As promptly as your tasks allowed.”  She paused, looking in Harvey and Bastion’s direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey tried to look puzzled and worried, because it had occurred to him that he had made himself look incredibly suspicious.  He couldn’t save everyone on the ship if he got tossed out of the airlock first thing.  He knew Marcus must have killed at least Bastion and Captain Monk.  He just had to work out who the other impostor was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no easy way for me to say this,” Vin continued.  “At 14:02 in Communications, I discovered the body of Captain Monk, designation White.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone gasped.  Harvey gasped with them.  He hoped it looked real.  Across the room, Howick’s gasp seemed fake, too.  Or maybe he was only seeing what he wanted to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sorrel was yelling about how healthy the captain had been.  He took all the deaths so personally, Sorrel.  But maybe it was a front.  Then again, Sorrel had been murdered, too.  Had the impostors argued?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey looked around at everyone, trying to gauge their feelings.  Who was lying?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to believe that Dent had really killed Felix, Bastion, and however many others.  But it was irresponsible to rule it out.  It was up to Harvey to save everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was he even really sure that Marcus was an impostor?  True, Marcus had tied Harvey up and tried to have him killed.  But some paranoia was reasonable after so many murders.  Harvey couldn’t assume anything, not yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What about Felix?  Or Vin, even?  No, probably not Vin.  Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harvey buried his head back in Bastion’s warm, safe, still living chest.  He didn’t have any evidence.  And he couldn’t even trust Dent, which meant he couldn’t trust Bastion, either.  Bastion would never agree to keep such a big secret from their husband.  There was only one person on the ship Harvey knew he could trust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a concerning week all round, even before the murder.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marcus had heard Felix tell Sorrel that he thought the ship was haunted.  Doors closing all over the place.  Wires cut in random rooms.  All that could have been some kind of small, chewing animal, but two days ago the reactor had been sabotaged.  Only Captain Monk, Black in their capacity as ship’s technician, and Marcus in his capacity as head of security knew that it had been anything more than a random malfunction.  Captain Monk hadn’t wanted to worry the crew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That ship had sure sailed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marcus cursed under his breath.  After twenty-five cycles in the Gliony Empire’s special forces, twenty-four of them served against his will, he had signed up for this unglamorous delivery mission to podunk space in a ship that ought to have been decommissioned before he was born hoping to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>away</span>
  </em>
  <span> from death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while, the smell hung in your nose.  All the different species he’d faced on the battlefield had different stuff inside them.  Some oozed green fluid or red or silver when you cut into them.  But death always smelled the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thanks to the Gliony Empire, Marcus would always know what death tasted like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dent, designation Blue, rattled his prayer beads as he walked up ahead.  Marcus had spent more than a few breaks with Dent for the sake of company, and Dent was always rattling those beads.  Marcus couldn’t remember the name of Dent’s faith.  Some religion he’d not heard of before this mission.  At any rate, all the praying seemed to make Dent very calm, if a little hard to read at times.  Marcus would have gladly fought side by side with Dent, in the bad old days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With everything he had in him left to hope with, Marcus hoped the bad old days weren’t coming back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they’d find the body without a mark on it and Red’s autopsy would reveal that White had had a heart attack.  Marcus could keep letting his guard down.  Make some friends.  Find out if Dent’s marriage was open.  Hold someone’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking about everything he stood to lose, Marcus felt as though his cardiovascular valve might burst out of his chest.  He didn’t even know most of these people, but he wasn’t prepared to lose them without knowing them, either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to look at the kid.  Marcus wasn’t especially sure why Dent had brought Felix, designation Lime, along on their patrol, but he was sort of glad Felix was there.  Much as Marcus liked Dent, he went rigid when he was stressed, turning into someone who reminded Marcus, painfully, of his old commanding officers.  Felix went strange sometimes, but never in a way that reminded Marcus of the past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And his music taste was excellent.  Gliony didn’t go for music in the barracks, so Marcus was picking up what he could from his younger crewmates.  He didn’t like Black’s yelling music or Pink’s trickling music with the strange words half as much as he liked the songs Felix sometimes played in the cafeteria.  They met Marcus where he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The patrol passed through the empty weapons bay and stopped outside O2, where Felix closed some kind of little door in the wall.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll finish that task later,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nav and the shields bay were empty, barring the cheerful debris Cyan and Brown had left at their workstations.  Marcus couldn’t wait to own silly mugs and things.  He’d never been allowed to accumulate debris before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the moment of truth.  The body was under one of the desks in Communications, close to the door.  Humans were red inside.  Definitely murder, then.  Heart attacks didn’t slice open your stomach and make your intestines twirl about.  Marcus tried to keep the kid from seeing anything much, but Felix threw up anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So that was that.  Marcus was going to have to protect this soft Elf child, not to mention Dent, from a murderer who liked to cut people up.  And the best way to do that was to help with the detective work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let Dent bring Felix to MedBay and stayed behind with the corpse to look for clues.  The murderer had started the first cut from the left.  No burns along the edge of the cut meant that it had been a regular metal blade.  They would have had to be strong to slice someone in half so fast that no one had heard Captain Monk scream.  Practiced, too.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marcus tried to remember who he had seen on the cameras during Yellow’s break, and where they had been.  For the five thousandth time since the first wires were cut, he wished the security office had the capacity to record and save footage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was impossible.  If there were clues here, Marcus wasn’t smart enough to recognize them.  He straightened up, rubbing the old laser wound that always smarted when he bent over.  As he did so, he put one hand flat on the desk in front of the body, so as to have something to lean on while he stretched.  His eyes followed his hand to the computer kiosk underneath it, which had come alive at his touch to reveal the last thing Captain Monk had ever looked at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a long document, and in some places the vocabulary got more complex than Marcus’ shoddy grasp of Alliance Common could follow.  But when he was done reading, Marcus knew for certain why Captain Monk had been murdered.  He even had a suspect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bastion liked order.  He liked silly movie nights with the kids, long walks in the desert, and being kissed where his brain stem connected to his main augmentation port.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t as keen on the order Sorrel kept MedBay in.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Things</span>
  </em>
  <span> floated in jars, staring at him from their cloudy liquid.  Their names in five languages from three different galaxies were labeled in careful, blocky script.  On the counter by the sink, a whole array of freshly disinfected tools gleamed.  They were exactly what you’d need to dissect a corpse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was in here, too.  With enough urging from Bastion, Sorrel had covered it up with a sheet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bastion hadn’t known his little sister’s partner all that well, but that wasn’t going to stop him from sharing her grief now.  Every time she stirred, he stroked the soft part of her neck and whispered the same comforts they and their eighteen siblings had always shared between them when times were hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To one side of Twenty’s cot, Harvey lay in a cot of his own, staring dreamily at the ceiling with dilated pupils.  Bastion was almost jealous, even though he was honored to be able to be there for his sister.  Harvey was blissfully high on a combination of traditional anxiety medicine and a special tea from a planet called Murk in the Betelgeuse system.  After Sorrel had promised that he would be back to himself by 15:15, Harvey had downed the concoction willingly.  He was certainly calmer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one was sure if Harvey had stumbled in on Captain Monk’s body, actually seen the murder take place, or what.  But his conversation with Felix before the meeting had raised enough red flags that everyone was anxious to what what he had to say when he was fully himself again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Really, Bastion just wanted someone else to take care of him for a while.  Harvey and Dent were usually very attentive husbands, but Dent was very busy being acting captain and investigating the murder and Harvey was…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s beautiful today,” Harvey mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure are,” Bastion said to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His sister shifted again, and Bastion kissed her forehead.  “I’m here, Twenty.  It’s all okay now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bap-Bap!” shrieked Spade.  Briarwood had taken his doll.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Bastion mediated the toddlers’ argument, getting bashed in the skull with the coveted doll several times in the process, he reflected that what he really missed about having both husbands to rely on was the help with childcare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the background, Felix vomited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some parts of leadership came easily to Dent.  But he had never assigned people partners before.  He was scared of screwing up.  Worse, he was scared of sending someone, particularly a younger crewmate, off to work alone with a killer.  And worst of all, the crew was sitting there, judging him, as he dithered over his list.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave Brown in MedBay with Yellow and Red,” he began.  “We’ll have another group of three until Harv—</span>
  <em>
    <span>Cyan</span>
  </em>
  <span> sobers up enough to work, and then we’ll split that into two pairs.  Let me see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Howick, designation Pink, marched up to him and saluted.  “Permission to be direct, sir?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, sure.”  Dent was so out of his element.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clank and I are an excellent team,” said Howick.  “Black, I mean.  I can protect them, and they’ve taught me a lot about the reactor, and—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dent hesitated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to work with Marcus,” said Howick.  “Compare soldier notes and all.  Fine.  Lime and Cyan are both in MedBay.  Pair them up.  They’ll both be recovering, so they won’t slow each other down.  And Clank and I will make a very efficient team.  You’ll need us to do a large share of Red’s tasks and most of Brown’s, and we already know how to work well together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” said Dent, feeling worn and manipulated.  Maybe he didn’t like Howick as much as he had thought he did.  “Pink and Black.  Cyan and Lime.  Green and I.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, sir,” said Howick.  “You don’t know what this means to me.”  She seemed much more emotional than Dent would have expected as she dashed off to tell Clank the news.  Kids and their crushes.  He hoped they’d get some tasks done, at any rate.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I would absolutely love to hear your theories if you have them.  Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Yellow Disappears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one has referenced suicidality, mentions of child abuse, and a makeout scene.  Consider yourselves forewarned.<br/>All of these people were traumatized before the mission, but the murders definitely aren't helping.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sorrel wasn’t <em> happy </em> that Captain Monk was dead, of course.  But he couldn’t deny that a part of him was thrilled to dissect even an eviscerated human corpse.  His medical school on Soil had only had holograms of humans to show them.  Sorrel had seen his first real-life human five months before the mission.  They were an endangered species, after all.  Which made him concerned about his ability to keep the four living humans alive.</p><p>What if someone made it through an attack badly hurt?  </p><p>He had a special notebook for autopsies.  The cover had a smiling eelorf printed on it in glitter.  “Break your tailbone!” the eelorf was saying in its little speech bubble.  Things felt more real when they were written down.  Sorrel was determined to remember every little internal detail of the human body.</p><p>And look for evidence, too.  That was important.</p><p>He closed the curtain around the cot he was using for the autopsy, because Bastion glared at him every time he smiled at the corpse where Vin might see.  Sorrel always smiled at corpses when he got to cut them up.  Couldn’t help it. Alien biology was fascinating.  He was going to get to see that famous one-stomach digestive system for himself and everything!</p><p>Well.  He could already see most of it.  The killer had <em> really </em>wanted Captain Monk to stay dead.</p><p>He set Lime to collecting samples so that he could focus, checked with Bastion to make sure that Vin was still resting well, put on his autopsy playlist, then finally finally finally at last noted down the time and got ready to make his first incision.</p><p>Howick peeked through the gap in the privacy curtain, winced at the sight of the body, and ducked back out.  Sorrel heard gagging noises.  Gods damn it!</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked instead of cursing aloud.  </p><p>“Yes,” said Howick quickly.  “Um.  No.  I had a question.  But I can see you’re busy.”</p><p>“Not too busy for any of my patients,” said Sorrel, which was true to his medical code of ethics and frustrating to his sense of scientific inquiry.  He fiddled with the tip of his tail to give his hands something to do.</p><p>“Okay.  I kind of need to talk to someone.  In a therapy way.”</p><p>Sorrel took a deep breath.  Only terrible doctors got mad at their patients for asking for help.  “I’m happy to talk with you, although I’m not a licensed therapist.  This autopsy will take a few hours.  When does your shift end?”</p><p>Howick looked more upset at this, somehow.  How was it, Sorrel wondered, that he was only good with unconscious patients?  “20:00.”</p><p>“Let’s meet at 20:30,” said Sorrel.  “Give you time to eat.”</p><p>“Okay.”  Howick drew in her wings to fit through the doorway, then turned back.  “Thank you, Sorrel.  I know there’s a lot on your plate.” </p><p>“No problem!” Sorrel waved her off with Clank.  His autopsy playlist got to his favorite song.</p><p>***</p><p>“More wires,” said Clank to Howick.  They patted themself down, looking for their heated pliers.</p><p>Howick fished through Clank’s toolbox and passed them the exact pair of pliers they were looking for.</p><p>“Thanks,” said Clank.  It was hard to talk today, as it often was, but Howick never seemed to mind.  And she always seemed to know what it meant that they saved their best words for her.</p><p>They frowned at the exposed wires they were fixing.  Cut, and cleanly, with a pair of heated pliers like theirs.  More sabotage to report.  Surely Howick had noticed by now.  The whole ship must know, after Captain Monk was dead.  Clank didn’t want to worry her, but they had to tell someone.  Someone who cared what Clank thought of it all.</p><p>“Sabotage,” they said.  The last wire softened back together, and Clank bound it securely with electrical tape.  There would be no fires on their Skeld.</p><p>Howick looked at the wires, then down at Clank’s face.  For once they couldn’t tell what she was thinking.  “Yes,” he said at last.</p><p>“Sabotage,” Clank repeated.  “In reactor.”</p><p>Howick stiffened at this, surely realizing what this meant.  Howick was smart.  Smarter than Clank, definitely.</p><p>“Means,” Clank continued, and focused on making the sounds come out correctly, “someone wanted all dead.”</p><p>Howick signed her response.  Clank had been teaching him South Venusian Sign Language for the last two weeks.  They were better in it than Alliance Common Sign, where you had to spell out each word.  “Yes.”  He didn’t say anything else for a long time.</p><p>Clank closed the panel and tightened the screws, then noticed another loose screw on the floor.  “Look!”</p><p>In the corner of the room, the cover of the vent was just slightly askew.</p><p>“Are you frightened?” Howick asked aloud after Clank had secured the vent cover.  They were headed for Storage now, to bring fuel to the engines.</p><p>Clank thought about it.  There wasn’t a word for ‘frightened’ in their first language, but there were six words for ‘coward,’ each ruder than the last.  “Yes.  Person who sabotaged reactor knew they would die too.  Had to know reactor.”</p><p>Another long silence.  With anyone else, Clank would have been worried that they were being rude.  But Howick never minded their quiet.  He took a long time to think about things, too.</p><p>“I thought I was ready to die,” Howick said as the last of the fuel emptied into the tank in the side of the lower engine.  “Then I met you.”</p><p>Clank set down their fuel can.  “Hug?” they asked.  It didn’t feel like enough.  They wanted Howick to know.  He had to know that it was the same for Clank.  Howick was so special.  And his hugs were the best, because he could wrap his wings around Clank like a soft cocoon.  Someday, Clank wanted to cuddle with Howick without their uniforms on and groom each other’s feathers.  They didn’t have anyone to groom their back, and Howick would know just how.</p><p>The hug didn’t say enough, and Clank’s brain wouldn’t make the words.  Their sense of duty warred with the place on the right side of their abdomen that belonged to Howick.</p><p>They took his hand.  “Follow.”</p><p>Down on the bunk level, Clank programmed a rest and recreation pod with the custom nitrogen and methane percentages Felix had assured them would be an ideal medium for Clank to coexist with a member of Howick’s species.  No one would pass out if they got too active, like you might if you took your helmet off and did jumping jacks in the carefully averaged out atmosphere of The Skeld at large.  When Howick corrected the placement of one of Clank’s decimal points, Clank knew that he had been thinking the same thoughts.</p><p>Remembering the scientific diagrams of aasimar genitals they had looked up on one rest break, Clank blushed under their feathers.</p><p>Howick’s mouth was warm.  He tasted sweeter than Clank had expected.  Without their uniforms in the way, his skin glimmered slightly in the light.  Clank wanted to feel everything.  His wings.  His hair.  They pushed aside the strap of Howick’s undershirt to kiss his neck.  It was hard for Clank to tell if they were terrified or just happier than they could ever remember being.</p><p>And Howick <em> held </em> Clank.  Clank hadn’t been held so tenderly since they were a chick.  They felt too loved to be frightened or shy.  For a long time there were no words and everything was simple.  It wasn’t long enough.</p><p>“You’re amazing,” Howick said at last, stroking Clank’s head where it rested on his chest.  “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”</p><p>“Howick,” said Clank, and only that.  They were trying to memorize the way it felt to be kissed.</p><p>“Tasks, I guess,” said Howick.  “Shields next?”</p><p>Clank tore themself away at last and pulled on their outer jumpsuit.  “Wires in Storage.  Then Shields.”</p><p>Howick had trouble pulling his wings into the baggy sleeve attached to his jumpsuit.  It was easier when Clank helped.</p><p>“Beautiful feathers,” Clank said.  “Beautiful Howick.”</p><p>They were beautiful, shimmering with a thousand pinks, silvers, and blues.</p><p>Howick set down his helmet and kissed Clank again.  Then he said, “Did I frighten you, in the engine?”</p><p>“Yes,” Clank decided, even though they had been too touched to be frightened at first.  They found the words at last.  “Howick, I want you to stay safe whether or not you kiss me again.  Your life is important because it is your life.”  They pulled Howick close again.  With their face buried in his chest, they could hear the staccato of his three heartbeats.  “Even if I am not there, you should be kind to yourself.”</p><p>“I will be,” Howick promised, giving Clank one last cuddle.  He put his helmet on.  “I’m bad at this.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Only a little.  I haven’t loved anyone before.  The people who raised me weren’t focused on making me love them.  Did I ever tell you about—”</p><p>Clank felt their eyes go as wide as a swamp hooter’s.  “Love?”</p><p>Howick squeezed Clank’s hand and laced his five fingers between their six.  “Yes.  Clank, I think I love you.”</p><p>Clank had listened to enough novels in the reactor room to know how significant this was.  But despite everything, they knew what they felt.  “I love you too.”</p><p>Only their growing, uneasy sense of how much time had passed and how many tasks were left to be done stopped Clank from ripping Howick’s helmet off for another kiss.  That, and the uncomfortable certainty that the hard outline they had felt in the side pocket of Howick’s outer jumpsuit was a pair of heated pliers just the right size for sabotage.</p><p>***</p><p>The manic brightness of the Cyan one’s eyes as he studied his star chart made it hard for Felix to tell if he was still high or not.  It was possible that Cyan was always like this.  The morbidly curious part of Felix took over his mouth.</p><p>“Did you really see it happen?”</p><p>“Hmm?” Cyan barely looked at Felix.</p><p>“When the captain died.  Did you see it?”</p><p>Cyan frowned, either at the question or something in the stars.  “No.”</p><p>“But you knew he was dead.  You said, in the hallway—”</p><p>“I was having a weird existential panic attack or something.” Cyan waved a hand dismissively.  “Total coincidence.”  He didn’t look any more convinced than Felix felt.</p><p>“Sure,” said Felix, who realized now that he was in a great deal of danger.  </p><p>Nine crewmates left.  He only knew three of their names.  And wasn’t Cyan married to Brown and Blue?  No way Yellow whatshername would believe Felix over Cyan either; she was Brown’s sister.  With Nav so close to Communications, it would have been simple for Cyan to kill and return to work.  Brown could easily have covered for him, or been the killer himself.  Shields was right there, too.  A partnership?  Felix groaned under his breath.  Brown and Cyan were going to pick all of them off, one by one.</p><p>“Come and look at this,” Cyan said.</p><p>Felix didn’t want to stand close to a murderer, but explaining that would get him killed for sure.  He came and looked at some kind of graph on Cyan’s console.</p><p>“Dunno how much you know about radiation metrics,” Cyan said.</p><p>Science was a safe topic.  Felix relaxed.  “A little.  Sometimes they factor into my atmospheric setups, so I have to know where they <em> should </em> be.”</p><p>Cyan pointed to a specific line on the graph.  “Then you can tell me I’m not losing it again.”</p><p>Felix frowned.  “No, that can’t be right.  Nothing has an ion signature that high.  Where did your numbers come from, a science fiction book?”</p><p>“That asteroid field we’re coming up on.”  Cyan handed Felix a tablet tracking their progress along the route.  The asteroid field was highlighted, and there were the same strange readings.</p><p>“Got to be a glitch.”</p><p>“I thought so too, the first time.”  </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Never mind.  I’m being silly again.”</p><p>***</p><p>It was nice to watch Dent work.  On the clock, he didn’t make a single movement without purpose.  Working <em> with </em> Dent, on the other hand, was intimidating.  Marcus was always sure he’d move his hand at the wrong time and gum up the metaphorical clockwork.</p><p>Every now and then, Dent looked up from his console and smiled at Marcus, which made things worse.  Dent was confusing.</p><p>“Here’s something,” said Dent.  They had worked in silence for most of an hour.</p><p>And so Marcus discovered that he had not covered his tracks as well as he thought he had when he hacked into the MIRA employee database some months before.  And that someone else had come back and covered his tracks for him.</p><p>Dent didn’t seem to notice Marcus’ dawning horror.  “If only there was some way to tell what had been changed,” he said.  “I can tell that my record is correct, and Harvey and Bastion’s look accurate as well.  Vin can look over Captain Monk’s, and Bastion can look over Vin’s.  With the others we just can’t be sure.  Is there anything amiss in your record?”</p><p>Marcus looked over Dent’s shoulder, silently rereading the false backstory he had clumsily attempted to feed the database.  It was all there.  But why?  Who would have gone to so much trouble to help him, a stranger?  Unless Marcus was a red herring.  Someone else on The Skeld had worse secrets than his, and more hacking skill to boot.  </p><p>If he took Dent’s exclusion of his family from suspicion as fact instead of wishful thinking, that left Marcus with Felix, Sorrel, Clank, and Howick.  </p><p>Sorrel was also from the Gliony Empire region, which made him automatically suspect.  On the other hand, he could barely work the food printers and refused to learn to store his notes in the cloud, so he was either innocent or an amazing liar in deep cover.  Clank was another obvious choice, but the fact that there was any evidence of hacking left to find made Marcus doubt that it was them.  Felix had enough technical knowledge, but Marcus had spent enough time with Felix that he couldn’t reconcile his image of him with that of a battle-hardened hacker with skeletons in his closet.  Which left Howick, really.</p><p>Marcus said none of this aloud and thought back instead to the document he had read in Communications.  “Nothing’s wrong here,” he said.  “Dent?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Do you know what we’re delivering?”</p><p>“No.  I try not to investigate classified matters.”</p><p>“Right.  Of course.”  Marcus felt a bit deflated.  He had almost hoped that Dent would help him if he could just explain what he knew about the Gliony Empire.  That seemed like a pipe dream now.</p><p>“I am always curious,” Dent added.  “Curiosity is heathy.”</p><p>“Of course.”  Marcus was so wrapped up in his concerns that it took him a long time to notice that Dent had taken his hand.  “Oh!” he said softly.</p><p>Dent was blushing.  “I do not mean to distract you from your work.  But I am pleased that you are with me.”</p><p>Marcus felt his neck spines reddening.  He wished with all his might that Dent had said something even two hours earlier.  He could have squeezed his hand back and thought of something flirtatious to say.  The eternal war had found Marcus, even on The Skeld.  It would poison everything it touched.  Odds were high that it had already poisoned Dent.  It had killed Captain Monk.  Light years away from the edge of the war zone, Marcus smelled blood in the air once again.</p><p>***</p><p>Marcus found Howick and Clank in the reactor room, talking quietly as Clank fiddled with a mechanism he would never understand.  He didn’t have long.  He had left Dent in Security under the pretense of a trip to the bathroom.  “Can I borrow Pink for a moment?” he asked.  “A task’s come up in Weapons and Blue sent me to fetch zem.”</p><p>“Of course,” said Howick.  The look of puzzlement on zir face seemed very real.  Marcus would have started to doubt himself based on that, but there was just too much evidence.  He knew what he had seen and heard.</p><p>Howick looked very startled to be pulled into Electrical.  Marcus tried to stand somewhere where ze wouldn’t feel too hemmed in.  It was slowly dawning on him that he had just signed up to be locked in with a murderer.  He had better be correct about zir motives, or there was no way he would leave Electrical alive.</p><p>“Listen.  We don’t have long to talk,” said Marcus.  “I know you lied about growing up on Dirt.  I know you hacked into the employee records to cover it up.  And I know you killed Captain Monk.”</p><p>Something shifted in Howick’s face.  A hardening.  Marcus had been sure before, but now he could see the part of zem that was a killer.  Or <em> trained </em>to kill anyway.  Howick pressed something on zir tablet in one smooth motion and the door slid closed.  It locked with a sharp click.  Fast and fluid, Howick stepped into a ready stance, hand hovering near a pocket in zir jumpsuit.  That would be the murder weapon.  Did ze always carry it?</p><p>Howick looked at Marcus, waiting.  He felt the need to back up a step.</p><p>“I haven’t reported you to anyone,” he said.  “If I’m right about <em> why </em> you killed the captain, I never will.”  Compared to zem, Marcus felt big and slow and foolish.  No one had ever hired him for his brains.  Now that he was in front of Howick, it seemed laughable that he could think his way out of anything.  Everyone else was nimbler and smarter than he was.  Marcus was just for plowing ahead unthinkingly.</p><p>“I could just kill you right now,” Howick said.</p><p>There was no point flaunting his own military credentials.  Howick was definitely armed, and Marcus definitely was not.  And he had chosen Electrical for its soundproof walls.  Zir stance said “well-trained,” but the little puddle of bile next to the body in Communications had said, “first kill.”</p><p>“Hear me out.  What are we delivering?  The green crates in Storage.  What’s worth killing for?”  Marcus tried to look trustworthy and nonthreatening, which was difficult at his size.  </p><p>Howick clenched zir fists, looking him up and down.</p><p>“Weapons,” said Howick softly.  “Prototypes.  To be tested on the rebels at the southwest edge of the Orion cluster.  They showed me plans.  If the mission succeeds, we’ll give Gliony the means to take over the rest of Orion, if not the universe.”  There was something different about zir voice.  They sounded more experienced, but less like Howick.  Blood in the air again.</p><p>“That’s why we’re delivering to Polus,” Marcus said as it all clicked into place. </p><p>Howick nodded.  “It’s neutral territory.  MIRA gets a lot of funding out of the Betelgeuse system, it turns out.”</p><p>“Then there really isn’t a way to escape Gliony or its war.”</p><p>Howick smiled bitterly.  “I haven’t found one.”</p><p>There was only one choice.  Marcus had never had a choice.  “Let me help you.”</p><p>Ze hesitated.  “How do I know you won’t just report me?”</p><p>“You changed my records when you changed yours,” said Marcus.  “I’m a deserter.  There’s no love lost between Gliony and me.  I know exactly what it’s like to grow up in a place where it’s impossible to <em> live </em>.”</p><p>Howick held out zir hand.  “Deal.  But you have to promise not to kill Yellow.”</p><p>“Okay.  Why?”</p><p>“It’s genuinely too complicated to explain.  How did you know it was me?”</p><p>Marcus thought back to the first clue.  “When you stubbed your toe on the edge of your R&amp;R pod on the first rest shift we had in common, you swore in Glionese.”</p><p>Howick cursed, and Marcus almost smiled.  It was the same word.  “Good to know.  I’ll watch for that.”</p><p>Marcus checked the time on his tablet and cursed too.  “We should go.  The charges I set to go off in O2 will trigger in ten minutes.  Nine and a half.  We need to make alibis.”</p><p>Howick’s eyes widened.  “That’ll kill everyone on board if it works.”</p><p>“It won’t work,” said Marcus.  “Dent’s too efficient.  It was meant to give me time to kill Vin, with MedBay empty.  I already had a good idea what this was about from something I read on Captain Monk’s console.  Figured I’d get rid of the second in command.”  </p><p>Howick seemed very small and forlorn, not at all what Marcus would have expected from a seasoned operative who had just gained an ally.  He remembered that ze was barely out of adolescence in aasimar years.</p><p>He tried to be gentle when he spoke again.  “You made this sound like a suicide mission.”</p><p>“When I took it, it was one.” Howick opened the door to Electrical.  “Don’t kill Vin.  Don’t kill anyone else without talking to me first.  And no more sabotage.”</p><p>“Okay,” said Marcus.  He let Howick leave ahead of him and leaned back against the cool, metal fuse box behind him.  The phantom scent of blood rose around him, filling his nose, his eyes, his head spines.  When he closed his outer eyelids, he saw a dark river.  The powerful current dashed Marcus’ body forward and hurled him through rapids until he was bruised all over and there was no methane left in his windsacs.  There was nothing to grab onto, and no shore to reach and rest if he did grab something.  There was only the ceaseless current.  There had never been anything to grab.</p><p>Who had chosen Howick for a suicide mission?  The commanders never died in the dark, Marcus thought.  No.  That was for children to do.</p><p>The dark waters rose over Marcus’ head.</p><p>***</p><p>O2 would go down in seven minutes, and Howick couldn’t find Clank.  They checked the engines three times, peeked into Security (hi, Dent and Marcus) and even doubled back to Electrical.  Six and a half.  They forced themself to calm down and fake a task outside Admin where the security camera would pick them up.  They couldn’t vouch for Clank if everyone saw them running around in a panic before the disaster even started.  </p><p>And it was a bad idea to go over to MedBay, too.  They didn’t have any tasks there.  Not to mention that Sorrel would still be autopsying the person Howick had killed.  They took a steadying breath, reflexively checking for the thousandth time that there was no human blood left on their gloves.  What were they even pretending to do?  Wiring.</p><p>Howick tried to squash down any thoughts about how they had failed to save Clank last time.  The murder wasn’t going to happen this time.  That had to be enough.</p><p>Five minutes.  Bastion jogged past them into Storage in the direction of Shields, in too much of a hurry to say hello.  Wait.  Howick thought back to the last time all this had happened.  They had been in Shields with Felix when O2 went down.  Bastion had been nowhere nearby.  Something was wrong.</p><p>Howick closed the panel they’d been fiddling with and set off after Bastion.  “Hey!” they called.</p><p>Bastion was in the same little alcove he had died in.  “Hey.  Can you go and tell Clank I don’t see any anomalies here?  I’m going to do a full system check, but the problem might actually be with their console.”</p><p>Howick blinked.  “Clank sent you here?  Where is Clank?”</p><p>“MedBay, last I saw.” Bastion looked puzzled.  “Weren’t you two working together?”</p><p>“Of course we are!”  Howick started to run, even though she knew she wouldn’t make it.  Why was Clank in MedBay?  <em> How </em> was Clank in MedBay?  There was no way in all the worlds that she would let them be blamed for Marcus’ mistake a second time.</p><p>Howick ignored the alarms.  They ignored Sorrel and Marcus running in the opposite direction.  They skidded into MedBay, almost falling over.  Sorrel’s music was still blaring.  It was nearly louder than the alarms.  No Clank.  No Vin, either.  </p><p>Which meant...what?</p><p>From the last go round, Howick remembered that the cot at the far end of the room had been Vin’s.  Next to the vent.  She looked under the cot, and under the blankets for good measure.  Where could someone Vin’s size hide?  It was then, bending down to study the tray of food next to the cot, that Howick noticed that the vent cover was askew.  And the three red towels crumpled in the corner had actually once been three white towels, on closer inspection.  The blood they were saturated with was still warm.  Howick tossed the towels into the washing machine on top of a load of other towels and started it.  They tightened the screws on the vent cover with their multitool.  Then they ran to Admin.</p><p>The alarms shut off just as Howick made it across the cafeteria.  It had taken the crew longer this time.  Just like before, Dent, Sorrel, and Bastion were in Admin.  Clank trotted up through the cafeteria from the direction of O2 and cawed happily at Howick.  But hadn’t Clank come from the reactor room last time?</p><p>“Come to the reactor with me,” Clank said to Dent, calm and not at all winded this time.  “Ze’s been unstable, and I could use someone tall to help.”</p><p>“Of course,” said Dent.  “Bastion, would you mind?”</p><p>Clank and Bastion set off down the lower hallway, past Electrical.  Howick watched them go.  It felt like she was back at the temple, trying to remember a passage from Urris’ Word in time to escape a beating.  A thought was there, just at the edge of understanding, but the words wouldn’t quite form.</p><p>Dent wasn’t quite frowning at Howick, but he didn’t look pleased.  “All crewmates are supposed to respond to crises promptly, Pink.  You know that.”</p><p>“I do,” said Howick.  “Flashing lights can be a trigger for me, so I was trying to get to my medicine.”  The lie tasted sour, even though flashing lights <em> were </em> sometimes a trigger.</p><p>Dent nodded.  “You ought to carry some with you, for next time.  Can’t have you running around in the middle of a medical emergency.  Go and talk to Sorrel about it, when you get the chance.”</p><p>“I will, sir,” said Howick.</p><p>It was almost 17:00 by the time Bastion reported his sister missing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0jVsh6QZn0P2C9tALdnamm?si=yY_WIVcDR4G-jOmPwTZNuQ">It May Be You now has a playlist, if that's your thing.</a><br/>And if you want to read more about Harvey, my boyfriend, who plays him in our DnD campaign, published the first chapter of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774431/chapters/65314183">his Among Us fic</a> today.<br/>As always, thank you for reading!  I love hearing your theories in the comments.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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